As the title says: Baby on the way! This is pretty exciting/scary stuff for me as it's something I've dreamed about since being a little girl. I know that sounds strange but I was always fascinated with mothers. The way they knowingly, innately, cater to these little beings with so much love and grace blew me away.... and now I'm going to be in that club. Hopefully I'll have the grace, and knowledge that seems to come to most so naturally. I guess that's the scary part, never really knowing how everything is going to turn out. The whole process is a major surprise and life changer so I've come to terms with not having to know every aspect of what may or will happen. It's the letting go than can be so scary yet so liberating. Through 8 years of practicing yoga (not at the moment unfortunately, due to some complications with little peanut) I've had a much easier time with lettings things happen as naturally and organically as they should. My husband may argue that point as I can seem a little unhinged at times if I things don't go my way with him, but everyone is entitled to their weakness, right?
So with peanut on the way, life is going to change, A LOT. I don't know what to expect other than sleepless nights and a crying baby. It seems you can only plan for that so much. People with and without children LOVE to remind me of just how little sleep I'll get in the future so right now... I sleep! I've never been a napper but now, I nap with confidence that this will be a luxury in the near future so get cozy and get nappin'! We've had some scares along the way so it makes attaching to the little peanut more difficult that I'd like to admit. With over a month of the constant reminder that I'm in the higher percentile to miscarry it makes it tough to have little chats, play music and try to get really connected to the little person inside of me. Now, I realize how heartless that sounds so please don't judge. I love the peanut to death, I'm just a little hesitant. The problems we were having have dissipated so I feel a strong urge to find that connection now, I find myself in the mornings with my hand on my belly, eyes closed, waiting to feel some movement, a little shuffle, a little bump anything to know that all is well! Half the time I'm sure it's just gas bubbles but it's still reassuring!
Anyhoo, at the moment I'm (or my hubster) is nursing a pretty rough cold so I should go assist my hubby with the chicken soup he's making.
Peace,
